The Everyday Fiance - Archives

Tuesday, February 28, 2006 Comments (0)

Food Addiction

Sometimes, I think that a food addiction is much worse than a drug addiction or an alcohol addiction. Heart disease is the #1 killer among people in the US, and obesity goes hand-in-hand with that. The only difference I can think of is that drug and alcohol addictions can be potentially dangerous to other people (drinking and driving, etc.), while food addictions aren't so much. I've never heard of anyone killing someone for a cheese burger or robbing the convenience store to pay for a Big Mac.

With all that said, I'm a food addict.

I remember sitting in class and I made a remark about how I couldn't ever see why anyone could be addicted to cigarettes. After pausing to think a moment, I blushed. Perhaps, those smokers couldn't see what the appeal is of a big plate of pasta or a bowl of ice cream. I think that was when I truly realized that yes, I'm no better than the smokers or alcoholics or druggies, I have an addiction, too.

I love food. Food has the ability to make me happy, and sometimes, when I'm really depressed, I feel like it is the only thing that I have to make me happy. While some things in life aren't perfect, or are withheld for me, food is always right there and I can run to it with my mouth open wide.

It kind of sucks that the addiction I've chosen is one that is so visible. People can hide alcoholism or a drug addiction, but you can't hide being a lard ass. Really, I didn't choose the addiction at all, it was the only one readily available to me at a young age when I felt I needed comfort. I couldn't turn to a bottle to drown my sorrows away.

I think part of the problem with me is that people around me are so accepting of it. I don't suffer in life because of it, other than with my health (and I'm healthy, aside from a lingering back injury, according to the doctor). But, I suppose there's no real motivation other than looking better and saving myself from a potentially dangerous situation that isn't so dangerous right this second. I'm engaged, so I don't worry about boys, and I have a job, so I don't worry about getting one. When I was in high school, although not classified as OBESE, I was pudgy, and compensated by being the class clown. I'm sure other fat chicks know exactly what I'm talking about here.

So, will I be able to overcome this addiction? I hope so. I've tried several times, but perhaps not hard enough. I don't know what it will take to get me past it, as images of people suffering from obesity on TV don't do it for me. If that's not enough - what is?